The corporate psychiatrist said:

Have a look at our friend Sheila, sunbathing in her easy chair. She's taking a vacation. She deserves it. She has put in endless hours of hard work, endless hours of her precious life spent in writing reports, fighting for her life, returning calls, saving spreadsheets, killing monsters. She still isn't quite used to it, but it gets better. She has accomplished something. Survival ! Survival is the ultimate incentive device, the best there is to improve productivity. Eskimos became artists in seal hunting because their lives depended on it. Think about the coal mines, they could blow up anytime, however miners extracted mountains of the stuff. But what dangers do you have at the office place ? Office hazards are laughable. One guy falls from his swivel chair and breaks a toe. Another slips on the wet floor, bruises his fat bottom. The girl cuts her middle fingertip while manipulating fax paper. Sore backs. Red eyes. Mouse-elbow. Allergy to copier ozone. Puuu-leeeease. The real trouble is that these people have nothing to fear. They have plenty of time to think about themselves, and they eventually indulge in part-time depression. And what do you get : lower productivity ! You want scientific advice on that, just hear what my environmentalist colleague has to say.

The corporate environmentalist said:

I'll be short, there is no such thing as a predator-free environment. This is unnatural. Predators are natural. They're a part of the big cycle. If you take them out, no wonder you get imbalance problems. The trouble with office work is the absence of predator-related stress. Also, natural culling doesn't occur. You need a natural way to weed out the weak and unproductive. Don't let your DHR do that. Ask him or her to hire a serial killer, for instance. They come cheap nowadays. First have the SK dispose of the DHR, it'll cheer people up, and then set the SK loose in the premises.

The CEO said:

Serial killers, uh ? Aren't they dangerous ?

The corporate environmentalist said:

Only if you're weak and unproductive, otherwise you have, for instance, the desk mines. The office version of the land mines. Even cheaper. Keeps everybody on the edge. You pick up what looks like a roll of adhesive tape and