Do you want to be an idol ? You do, of course. Everybody does. We are not just talking about Andy Warhol's fifteen minutes of glory. In the 60's, you could really become famous by showing your pretty face on TV. But the situation has become rather chaotic now, don't you agree ? Slice off your boyfriend's penis. Steal a candy bar and engage in a car chase. Spit on your customer's cheeseburger. Make sure your eight children can recite Finnegan's Wake from beginning to end. If you've been filmed, you're entitled to prime time. And later you'll be able to rent yourself on DVD. You may extort a few laughs or thrills from several millions of jaded spectators world-wide, and make some little money in the process, but this is not what is called being famous anymore. Trash TV won't make you an idol. WE can make you an idol. Our catalogue includes hundreds of idol types, from the small-town hero to the international pop icon. You can be a living idol and benefit from everything that goes with it. You can choose to be a dead one, and relish the prospect that your numerous but yet-to-be-discovered deeds, or songs, or writings, or paintings will make you an household name just a few days after your death. If you prefer to see it coming, if you want to appreciate the process of becoming an idol, we'll help you to develop your talent through the years, we'll take every painstakingly infinitesimal step with you until you've become the burnt-out movie star, the software tycoon, or the charismatic leader able to turn his millions of supporters into human bombs, this very person that you deserve to be. If you're in a hurry, we can kill you fast, in all the manners currently accepted as sure paths to stardom : sports car accident, drug overdose (camouflaged as drowning), heart attack (makes a big difference if you're 25), suicide, assassination (sordid one, passion murder, you name it) and every sort of fatal disease. We can even arrange your death to appear, to those well-informed, as the result of a conspiracy involving secret agencies, mobsters or religious freaks. You want the ultimate fantasy in idolatry, i.e. the Fall ? No problem. We'll make you climb as high as you want, and we'll make you stumble so realistically that no one will ever imagine it was all arranged years before. We guarantee a rock-bottom deep